Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
