She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
