I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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