i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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