i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
