I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
