Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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