I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
