? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
