I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
