I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
