I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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