Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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