At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
