My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
