party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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