woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
