After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
