what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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