so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
