i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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