dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
