I'm lost and stupid without you.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
