My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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