A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
