so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
