Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
