She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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