Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
