Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
