Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
