Whod you bang
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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