The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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