They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
