Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why are your pants in the freezer?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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