My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
