On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
