well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
