A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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