I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
