Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
