the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
