i was born a porn star she said
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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