yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
