I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
