its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
