That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
