You're so nebulous sometimes
She is in my trunk
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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