Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
