As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
