No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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