If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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