i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
