Cold hands, warm shart.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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